Yes, Confidence Can Be Learned. Confidence can be earned.

In fact, there is no other way to get it, because confidence comes down to one thing: self-trust. Self-trust comes from continual positive results. It is earned with repetition. The areas in which you are most confident are those in which you have put in the most reps.

Knowing and confidence are one and the same.

Continuing Professional Development (CPD) is the ongoing process of enhancing your skills with workshops, conferences, courses etc. But even with these vital career boosters, low personal confidence can hang a ceiling on your professional confidence. If you have a desire to empower others, drive change, and lead by example, you have to be able to establish your authority when you present your ideas… you must be able to present with strength.

8 Presentation Scenarios Requiring Confidence
  1. Virtual Meetings
  2. Live Presentations
  3. Conflict Resolution
  4. Pitches
  5. Interviews
  6. Networking
  7. Content Creation
  8. Customer Connection

Let’s initiate your easy, speedy, on-the-go confidence micro-habits to uplevel your presentation confidence – without the cotton mouth and stomach knots.

You already have what you need!

You have the gifts already, or you wouldn’t have the desire to express them. The only thing preventing you from turning those gifts into skills is confidence.

So I repeat: yes, confidence can be learned. Especially with this cheat sheet of 6 practical, tactical confidence habits. Now, let’s get that air under your wings.

But First: Focus

Let’s do a quick stress-scan to catch ‘n release any tension you may be holding. This simple act is an instant mindset reset.

Are you clenching anywhere? Tight mouth? Clamped jaw? Tension in your stomach? I often find myself clenching my toes. And I just became aware I was doing that right now. Feels so good to release it!

Now you… wherever you can catch the clenching, give it a release. I’ll wait.

Are you adjusted? Feeling good? Let’s go.

BRAIN CHEMISTRY 101: THE SCIENCE OF FEELING CONFIDENT

Your Brain’s Confidence Chemicals and Why You Should Care

Serotonin: “The Feel-Good Chemical”

I call it “The Confidence Molecule” because it’s associated with well-being and self-assurance. That surge of satisfied joy you get from a big win: Serotonin.

Dopamine: “The Motivation Neurotransmitter”

Brings feelings of confidence, pleasure and motivation. That energizing rush of satisfaction when you finally finish that project or achieve that goal: Dopamine.

Oxytocin: The “Love Hormone”

Increases confidence in social situations. That warm spike of sensation you get from feeling connected to a person or group: the magic of Oxytocin.

Testosterone: “The Vitality Hormone”

Promotes energy, assertiveness… and muscle growth, a great confidence booster! Feeling pumped and ready to tackle challenges head-on? That’s the power of testosterone.

Endorphins: “The Natural Painkillers”

These create euphoria and confidence by reducing stress and anxiety. Runner’s high. Post-exercise bliss. All caused by endorphins.

Don’t run or sweat in the gym? No gym membership needed! See 10 DIY Endorphinators at the end of this article.

WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD, FRIEND?

 

A confidence mindset begins by noticing the difference between Productive Thinking and Reductive Thinking.

 

Productive Thoughts produce feelings you want, or situations you need, in real life.

Reductive Thoughts produce feelings you would not want, and you do not need, in actual life.

Question: if you wouldn’t want it on the outside, why indulge it inside your mind? Why are you writing and rehearsing a movie you don’t want to star in?

Your thought patterns are your inner algorithm! The more you think a thing, the more the algo feeds you with it. But here is the good news: you have the power to reset your mindset, thanks to our good friend, neuroplasticity.

 

Neuroplasticity is your brain’s ability to reorganize its structure and functions. Your brilliant brain can update its own mental algorithm! How? You debug it by integrating new habits to crowd out the outdated ones.

It is science, baybee.

The science of a confidence mindset goes 2 ways:  

1: When you’re feeling confident, your brain releases feel-good chemicals.

2: When you actively incite those chemicals, you create confidence on purpose.

 

Let’s create a winning loop right now by INTRODUCING…. drum roll please drrrrrr-dsh… Your Confidence Codes!

THE CONFIDENCE CODES:

 

CONFIDENCE CODE #1: INTENTION. The act of defining where you want to be – and who you want to be.

 

CONFIDENCE CODE #2: ATTENTION. The refocus of thoughts and energy from reductive thoughts to productive thoughts.

 

CONFIDENCE CODE #3: BODY TALK. The skill of using your physical body to calm your mental activity.

 

CONFIDENCE CODE #4: SELF TALK. That nonstop, unavoidable internal dialogue chattering in your brain-palace.

 

CONFIDENCE CODE #5: PREPARE. Updating your knowledge, skills, and appearance in any one area.

 

CONFIDENCE CODE #6: PRACTICE. The ongoing process of consistent, incremental action that builds confidence in that area.

 

CONFIDENCE CODE #1: INTENTION

Intention is the act of defining where you want to be. In this case: who you want to be.

How do you want to show up in the world? Intention is actively choosing this, rather than passively accepting what comes your way.

Every goal, growth, enterprise or invention begins with an intention. Nothing can be embodied before being envisioned.

But Why Do I Need Intention for Confidence?  

Goals, friend! When you clarify your priorities you focus your mindset.

Your mindset your mental GPS. The thoughts you think direct the actions you take. To reach your intended destination you program it with your desired outcome. You don’t insistently assert where you currently ARE, you input your goal – where you want to BE.

Intention is direction.

Direction leads to destination. That’s it.

Confidence-Building Ways to Use Intention

ONE: Self-Concept – See It

Do you want to be stronger in meetings? For presentations? Confrontations? Networking? Social situations? On dates? Or even just to speak up when you’re unhappy with your hair cut?

TWO: Self Determinism – Be It

Don’t wait for permission, no one’s going to give it to you. And no one’s going to judge you as harshly as you judge yourself either.

Here is a list of suggestions to update your self-concept. Combine as many of these elements as you like, into one empowering self-image. Use a few or use them all – this is your unique process!

Assemble Your Intentions Avatar

1) Curate The Best Bits of YOU:

Trawl your photos, social media posts and memories. Choose from things that currently ignite your self-confidence, or ones you had in the past (no matter how old, they are all YOU).

  • The best make-up or facial hair you’ve ever had
  • Your most flattering hairstyle ever
  • Your favorite outfit of all time.
  • Your body when it felt the best you can ever remember.

2) Fire It Up with Feedback

  • Long live external validation! This is not vanity; it is jet fuel from YOUR LIFE.
  • Remember the best compliments, praise, or positive feedback you’ve ever received.
  • Find or remember any certificates and awards you may have.
  • Go fish! Contact colleagues, mentors, or clients, requesting testimonials.
  • Ask your LinkedIn connections for recommendations.
  • Part of a network? As above.
  • Gather your success stories! Start a list. Keep adding to it. From big career wins to personal ones. You completed a full month of your healthiest habit? Success! Add it to the list.

3) Find Outside Inspiration

Source images and ideas from:

  • Movies and shows
  • Quotes and Song lyrics
  • Books
  • Art and symbolic artifacts
  • Your favorite celebrities, influential leaders, visionaries, and trailblazers.
  • Online image platforms like Pinterest or Instagram

4) Breathe Life into It

Bring the above together:

  • Create a physical or digital scrapbook, composite or collage.
  • It can be basic, like my phone wallpaper below (created in free and easy Canva). This inspires me with what I choose for a wonderful life: traveling to amazing places to speak in front of excited people, with freedom and focused creativity and above all, my health! I added my favorite quote and a few words that rev me up.
  • Or elaborate, like my 888-pin Pinterest Vision Board  with every detail from success to socks.

 

SPACE

5) Keep It Alive:  

  • Print and place it where you will see it often. phone, computer, framed or tucked away for your eyes only.
  • Download as a phone wallpaper or screensaver.
  • Look at it often!
  • And see it in your mind twice daily:
  1. When you close your eyes before falling asleep.
  2. Before you open your eyes, as you wake up.

 

WINS:

More dopamine, serotonin, and testosterone!

Now you have a vivid image for motivation and confidence. Now you’re not just thinking outside your box, you’re redesigning it.

NOTE: Everything we have done here is for the purposes of exciting and focusing you. None of it is literal – the images and words you use are to give you the FEELINGS you need. So feel free to be go crazy – WISH BIG, take inspired action, and be open to amazing changes.

CONFIDENCE CODE #2: ATTENTION

Attention is the refocus of thoughts and energy from reductive thoughts to productive thoughts.

Most people believe their thoughts to be involuntary. Untrue! YOU are the thinker; you are not being thunk.  Conscious attention is about directing your awareness. This is crucial to reducing stress and enhancing mental clarity and physical well-being. You’ll be amazed at how unchecked reductive thoughts drain your mental energy.

So let’s do something about it!

WAYS: 

1) Assess Your Mental Patterns Regularly.

Check your thoughts for reductive patterns aka Mental Doomscrolling, like:

  • Negative Self-Talk
  • Inner Complaining
  • Imaginary Conversation Loops
  • Remembered Conversation or Disagreement Loops
  • Rehearsing Worst-Case Scenarios

2) Set 10 Silent, Snooze-Free Phone Alerts.

This kickstarts your new habit of catch and release:

  • These dont interrupt you but act as little lights blinking to remind you, when you do pick up your pocket monster for something else.
  • These are your cues to ask yourself: what am I thinking about? And then you release (without judging yourself, please – just let it go).
  • Set these for 5 days of the week. Take time off. Be cool. Eventually you will integrate the habit with no alerts needed.
WINS:

Expect a lift in dopamine, serotonin and endorphins.

Mindful attention to productive thoughts reduces stress, improves mental clarity, and builds a confident, resilient mindset. Now you go from being insane in the membrane (most of the time) to serene in the bean (at least some of the time).

CONFIDENCE CODE #3: BODY TALK

Body talk is using your physical body to calm your mental activity.

The micro-habit of tension catch n’ release sends powerful signals to your brain that you are safe and in control. This is key to building confidence because remember: confidence is simply self-trust!

WAYS

1) Check In:

  • Regularly scan your body for tension spots. You’ll become more and more familiar with your specific spots.
  • Catch the clench, and consciously release it.
  • Allow yourself to sigh or smile or shake it out – your body will show you a response.

Common releases are:

  • Unclenching your jaw.
  • Relaxing your face.
  • Dropping your shoulders.
  • Releasing stomach clenching.

And you will find your own problem spots as you go. Like my toe-clenching: random, but what a full body sigh I have when I do release it.

 

2)  Set Silent Phone Alerts as per Code #1, to begin to habituate this.

WINS:

 An uptick in Endorphins, Serotonin, and Dopamine

 Now you can trust yourself to think clearly, and act decisively. No more scrunching up your thinking with mental doomscrolling, now you can forge ahead with focus.

CONFIDENCE CODE #4: SELF TALK

 

Self-talk is that nonstop, unavoidable internal dialogue chattering in your brain-palace.

We are all talking to ourselves all day long.

Productive self-talk builds resilience, authenticity and a confidence no one can shake. Reductive self-talk brings stress and a fatigue no amount of caffeine can cure. (I am guilty of this, and have to catch ’n release this often!).

Self-critique is constructive. Self-condemnation is reductive.

Self-condemning thoughts are non-productive. You can level up without tearing yourself down.

Self-empowering thoughts are productive. This is how you set lofty goals and work towards them.

 

WAYS:

1) Talk Yourself UP

Celebrate your wins (big and small):

  • Keep a phone note of every victory, success and even daily accomplishment. Keep adding to it.
  • Set a weekly phone reminder to send this to yourself as a congratulatory text or email.
  • And when you get it, read it out aloud or even give yourself a high-five.

 

2) Be Your Own Hype Wo/Man With Performance Affirmations

Talk to yourself! Declare your intentions!

Use your Intentions Avatar to help you visualize success.

I know it can be hard to affirm what you don’t yet see. These 5 affirmations are easy to state, because they are all true already.

  1. “I know it can get better (or even better)…”
  2. “Wouldn’t it be nice if…”
  3. “I am open to…”
  4. “I am available for…”
  5. “I am ready for…”

 

3) Rinse, Repeat!

Microhabits take a minute to integrate. Keep doing this, a little bit, lots.

 

WINS:

Now you’ve triggered the release of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and testosterone.

 Now you’re firing up your self-trust. This positive reinforcement helps you build a strong, confident mindset and reduces the impact of (the inevitable) negative self-talk.

CONFIDENCE CODE #5: PREPARE

 

Preparation is the ongoing process of equipping yourself with knowledge, skills, and appearance in an area.

This ultimate investment in yourself readies you for opportunities (and they will come) and steadies you for challenges (and they will come).

Mental preparation builds skills. Physical preparation builds presence. Combined, they build powerhouse confidence.

WAYS:

1) Obsess Over It!

Use all your spare time and free-range minutes to learn everything you need to know. Use Google, Youtube, podcasts, AI, and discussions with people you know, who can guide or mentor you further.

2) Do It! (In Your Mind)

Think about it, sketch it out, make to-do lists or mind-maps. Have fun plotting it out! Be like a winning athlete who runs it in their mind and then kills it on the track.

This is NOT fake it till you make it, it’s create it till you take it.  

3) Be it! (In Your Body)

Stop saving your best clothes for later, wear them now.

Use those self-care products you’ve been hoarding – burn those pretty candles, and use that fabulous perfume or aftershave now.

 

WINS:

 Enjoy those bursts of Dopamine, Endorphins, and Oxytocin.

Now you’re taking care of business and of yourself. Now you’re raising your confidence on purpose!

CONFIDENCE CODE #6: PRACTICE

Practice is consistent, incremental action that builds confidence in your chosen area.

Repetition is essential for building, honing, and maintaining confidence. Consistent daily wins create a rhythm of success, reinforcing your confidence consistently. This is how you reset your mindset reset -with small bricks that build a strong, resilient tower of confidence.

WAYS:
Micro-Habits:
  • Implement small, consistent actions, daily.
  • Start with manageable actions (like making a to-do list!)
  • Gradually increase their scope until your little bits naturally become a little bit more.
  • Keep practicing, even when progress feels slow. Slow is better than No-Go.

 

WINS:

 Enjoy the surge in Dopamine, Endorphins, Oxytocin.

 Regular practice and achieving small wins increases confidence exponentially.

Now you’re on both feet, not on the back one. These are your reps! Consistent effort and seeing progress reduce stress and enhances confidence. No matter how far the goal, you can cover that seemingly vast expanse by doing ‘a little bit, lots’.

Micro-habits for the win!

 

In leaving you I must tell you: self-doubt, second-guessing is inevitable.

You will feel like a failure at times – everyone does. You will drop the ball time and again – everyone does! The trick is to acknowledge the wins in between the drops.

And on days you’re giving yourself the scares, here are some mood hacks to see you through.

 

10 FREE ENDORPHINATORS TO KICKSTART YOUR CONFIDENCE JOURNEY:

  1. Laughing
  2. Listening to Music
  3. Playing with your pets
  4. Creative Expression
  5. Meditation
  6. Sun Exposure
  7. Nature and Grounding
  8. Volunteering
  9. Physical Touch
  10. And of course, you can conjure endorphins the old fashioned way: with sexy-times. Wa wa wee wa.

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

Now you can get your reps in. Now you can get to creating those new opportunities.

I love your feedback!

Questions? Or topics you’d like more about? Mail irit@iritnoble.co.za or connect on my socials:
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About the author: Irit Noble is an award-winning comic entertainer, transformational speaker and confidence coach. Click for her story.

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Disclaimer – The tools Irit shares here are in the hopes that you find something for your own learning or healing. These are tools to be adapted for those of us able to deal with our own physical and mental challenges. Should you require professional medical or psychiatric assistance, please seek it.